For My soulmate... Dusty- even though he's no longer on here.:)

When I was in Scotland, Edinburgh to be more precise. I was walking down the street with a friend of mine. I was 21 and she was 14 at the time. We were just seeing the sights and soaking in all that Edinburgh had to offer. I myself have a huge affinity for Scottish accents. It's a sickness really, and my ears were always alert just waiting to absorb that sugar straight to my ear drums making my heart flutter.
As we were walking a man came out of a building. He looked at his parked car that had clearly been hit by someone or something and said "Oh for fuck saaake!" I started to giggle uncontrollably because it is a stereotype that Scottish people have foul mouths and I thought this experience PERFECT, being a tourist. My friend, being English and therefor not on good terms with the Scottish(you'd think this hundereds of years old feud would be over, but people just don't get over being conqured) hit my arm and said "Shut-up... your going to get us killed."
Then from a few feet away(we were still walking) I heard this man say "Those fucking BASTARDS!" and I lost it.... I laughed a hardy laugh that probably would have included a snort if I had one. The man then looked at us. My friend was now beating my arm furiously with fear in her eyes.
The man, with an angry scowl, then said "What the fuck are YOU laugh'n at PIGGAY!"
Reason or the sheer will to survive should have kicked in at that time... but it only made it that much more funny! I burst into hysterical laughter.. tears streaming down my face, doubled over holding my stomach. My friend was now walking faster and trying to pull me along, pissed at me because I was going to get us shanked.
He then jumped in his car and backed up to us walking on the sidewalk. I did pull it together at this point and stopped laughing but I'm sure I still had a look of delight slapped all over my "chevy chase". He rolled down his window, Natalie(my friend) winced, probably thinking he was going to pull out a gun on us and he calmly said..."I'm really sorry aboot that. I was just really passed off! Some bastards hit my car."
I just nodded politely and said "No worries!" and he drove off.
This was one of the most memorable parts of my trip. Don't get me wrong- I had plenty of awesome memories and great experiences- but that was STELLAR!
Amber out.

White Pannel Van

Today I was in training for work.

They showed us a live call... it was somone calling in a claim for damage to their vehicle. It was a commercial policy- which means it was a vehicle owned by a company. It was an ecoline van.

• My first thought went to- serial killer van.

The person continued the call... asking about the damage to the vehicle.

• My second thought was- "hmmmm, I'll bet you it is damage from some poor girl who kicked the van while he was shoving her in it."

Then the caller said that the location the damage happened at was a storage facility.

• My third thought was-"OH! So that's the guy's game. He had already kidnapped her, thought she was dead and went to the storage unit to store the body. She ended up still alive- making a break for it- causing damage to the van! Wow, he's doing this on company time." (the last part of my thought process is sick..... but true)

I then siquentialy thought back to my days of working in old downtown Spokane on Sprague avenue. I thought about the hookers there that were picked up and murdered by Yates(for those not familiar- a serial killer in spokane wa). And that was before I ever worked there.. but I remember a Senske truck- a commercial vehicle- picking up hookers. ON COMPANY TIME!! I then realized that this whole warpped, made up, train of thought, was a completely feasible scenario.....

I realized that in the span of a 10 minute claim, I had thought through at least two movies depicting serial killing IE Silence of the Lambs and The Vanishing. I had thought of at least 3 serial killers who's profiles had affirmed my thoughts were "logical"... IE Robert Yates, Ted Bundy and The Green River Killer. Then I realized that all of these serial killers were indeed from the Inland Northwest and this particular insurance carrier is only offered in the Inland Northwest.

Case and point- This particular carrier should offer Serial Killer Coverage.

Who is looking out for these poor guys? Sure the victims have all these support groups and foundations... but who's making sure the serial killer's lives are looked after?

I mean really- if you are a serial killer the likelyhood of a blood stain on your carpet is pretty darn good-if you are into keeping them for any length of time. So you would have a special endorsement on your homeowners- titled something like "blood stain coverage". This coverage could be applied to anywhere you keep them... a garage, a storage shed, a barn, etc. It doesn't just have to be a home, plus if you know what you are doing you wouldn't have your victims at your home. Am I right Criminal Minds?

Ok, now I'm just freaking my own self out about this.... This is how my brain works. Like some black twisted domino affect.

Anyway......

Amber out.

Dear Milk

You are disgusting. But yet you provide so many things that are delicious!

I can substitute you with soy milk, almond milk... anything really, as far as cereal goes. But I couldn't replace you when making all the delicious cheeses I enjoy. I couldn't use almond milk to make motzerella cheese! That would just be nasty. You are used in so many things... icecream, yogurt, cakes, pasteries.... did I mention CHEESE.

Milk- you are so evil to me. You make me throw up in my mouth if I eat too much of you. I'm allergic to you- yet I can't get enough of you in the forms you take other than your original.

I scoff at you and gagg when you are presented in your true form- but when you are made into the deliciousness called cheese... i can't resist you.

You are like the tomato to some people- some people hate tomatoes.. but they love ketchup. It's like that... yes... it's like that. Only you are far more amazing milk... as much as I hate you... I can not resist you.

Damn you milk. You are fattening, I'm allergic to you and you gave my brother and my neice a sinus infection. You are the Hannibal Lecture of food... You are EVIL but you are charming.

Amber out.

So I'm turning over a new leaf. From now on I'm posting my random thoughts and enlightening my readers... there are none... so this should be very entertaining to ME!

Question to the redneck at walmart-

Why do people feel the need to get in my bubble?

You don't know me.... Is it that I smell nice? Do you want to sniff me? Do I just exude awesome and you want some to rub off on you? I'm just curious, because if your redneck ass gets any closer to me I might feel the need to take the nearest thing(a toothbrush) and stab you with it. I'm browsing a choice in toothpaste... which you clearly don't use. So really, why the HELL are you in this aisle!?

Do I want the whitening? Do I want the trifecta of plack prevention? How about vanilla mint? I don't care- as long as I can get out of this walmart without your herpes infesting me.

Why God Why?

I swear to God... I am so sick and tired of being ashamed of what our generation and the one before it have to offer for film. If they make one more effing remake of a classic horror film I'm going to call it quits and live in a cave and boycott media.
I mean really, I tolerate the bias in politics and news in the media- I refuse to play the games of the political parties. I choose to tolerate the craptastic chick flicks that seem to be made on an express conveyor belt.. I don't watch them.. I may roll my eyes at the previews... but I tolerate it.
But my horror movies? Really... did you have to ruin the one thing that brings me a source of joy in this morally corrupt, sad, turmoil filled shit-hole we call Earth!? Really?
And it's not like they started with one and ended it.. no. They had to remake Halloween, Friday the 13th... and now FREDDY!? *sigh* I realize it's been going on for quite sometime.. but with these movies; they were already a franchises... They could have just continued on their marry way to making shite sequels that I wouldn't watch and just left the originals alone.. but NOOOOOOOO. I'm sick of these money grubbing whores in hollywood. How the hell do they sleep at night raping an all ready crappy film that should just be left alone to entertain the generations to come with their amature graphics and acting.

Anyway, I'm just so pissed about this I had to vent somewhere.. because no one I know cares.

Amber out.

WTF!?

what kind of cruel joke is this anyway?
I'm so confused. People are so fucking confusing! I mean I love the differences between people, but isn't our likenesses and our commonalities what bring us together and help us relate? Even attract us to one another?
Life is so contradictory... I mean, I get that our differences and our uniqueness are what make life so colorful and enjoyable. But half of life's misery is figuring people out or rather.. never figuring them out. My dad always told me " You can not control anyone else's reactions, you can only control your own." and "You won't understand someone else completely because they see things in their own perception- everyone has their own movie." and I know this.. I guess i just can't come to grips with it.
I was watching Heroes the other day with my friends and we discussed what powers we wanted. I have always said I wouldn't want to be a mind reader.. there are reasons we can't hear people's thoughts and why people have filters and what not.
But I think I could handle it now. I'd rather know what the hell people are thinking then constantly wonder and possibly think worse than what is being thought. I mean, I can handle someone's honest opinion.. I base my life on being honest. I think real friends and people who love one another should be honest... not blunt or cruel.. but honest.
*sigh*
Sorry, this probably makes no sense at all to anyone. I'm just frustrated with trying to figure people out. They make no sense... and I'm one of them!
Amber out.

just some thoughts

Be still
Do you feel that
It's an awakening of feelings
These feelings I have not felt in so many years

A protective coating that lines my core
My heart
Who I really am
It's been there
Untouched
For so long

Someone has been tugging at it
Trying to peel back the layers of black
The layers of sarcasm
Where I'm wrapped up in
I'm so comfortable there

I hold on tight
With a death grip
No one will get in
I hanker in my bunker
I'm ready for battle
To fight to stay distant
To feel nothing

The struggle
The question
Is it better to love and risk the pain that comes with it
Or is it better to pull your heart out of the game and stay safe
Not experiencing the extreme highs
But more importantly avoiding the lowest of lows
Is the pain worth it

I think not.